When The New York Times published a story about being “pantsdrunk,” the Finnish tradition of sitting around your house and drinking in your underwear, something clicked in my brain. There are so many words we need right now, while we’re all self-isolating in response to the global coronavirus pandemic, that we don’t have.

So I made them up. This comedy piece for The Belladonna describes 15 of the words I wish we had – and I am now using – to cope with what it’s like to live in a world that’s mostly shut down, where we’re not able to see our loved ones, and we’re hearing a constant stream of genuinely bad news about what’s happening around us. Hopefully it makes you laugh a little bit (and feel a little bit less bad about your morningjuice).